Parasha
Vayishlach
Genesis 32:4-36:43
By:
Dani'el Rendelman
Shalom Achi,
I, Ya’akov,
write this letter to you
in my own handwriting.
I am sure
that you have already heard
about my experiences, yet
I wanted you to know about
the changes in my life directly.
What has happened
to me and in me is nothing
short of a miracle. I am sure what I will tell you will be
hard to believe; yet it
is the truth.
What I am writing
you about actually happened. As you know, I am much too serious of
a person to waste your time
with a made-up story.
All of
what I am writing you today
came to be as I decided
to leave the land of my
father-in-law.
You know that I have
worked many long and hard
years in exchange for his
two daughter’s hands in
marriage.
During this time
his flock, his tent, his
everything prospered under
my care. Upon leaving him I had taken my rightful
share and was off to live
in the Land of my father. Though, I must admit that I was not totally
honest in claiming such
a large and goodly herd. Anyway, I was on my journey to the Land
of promise when our group
began to approach the camp
of my estranged brother
Esav.
You have
heard that Esav and I have
not spoken for many years. Since I stole his right as the firstborn
I have feared that Esav
would kill me.
I knew that his intentions
were to do me harm so I
fled, I ran. Now I was coming face to face with a person
who wanted me dead – my
own twin.
Surely he had heard
of my prosperity, as I had
his. Yet we had no spoken nor had anything
to do with each other for
many years.
What had come of
Esav?
Did his anger and
hatred remain?
Would he ever forgive
me for years of animosity?
I sent
messengers ahead of my camp
to see what type of reception
awaited me as we approached
his land.
They came back and
reported to me an alarming
message.
Esav and a party
of four hundred men were
prepared to meet me. Of course, I did not know if they were
advancing for a military
confrontation or just a
big family reunion. I was very upset about this situation
to say the least.
So I decided to divide
my camp into two.
Then I sent a huge
gift, a tribute to Esav
with the hopes of appeasing
him. I wanted to soften his anger and win his
favor.
I wanted things to
be better between us.
I then
prayed to the Most High,
the Elohim of my father
and grandfather. I said, “O Elohim of my father Avraham,
Elohim of my father Yitz’chak,
O Yahweh, who said to me,
‘Go back to your country
and your relatives, and
I will make you prosper,’
I am unworthy of all the
kindness and faithfulness
you have shown your servant.
I had only my staff when
I crossed this Jordan, but
now I have become two groups. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother
Esau, for I am afraid, I
fear he will come and attack
me, and also the mothers
with their children.
But you have said,
‘I will surely make you
prosper and will make your
descendants like the sand
of the sea, which cannot
be counted.’”
The night
before we were supposed
to meet I could not sleep. I sent my family and all my belongings
across the Yabok River so
I could be by myself. I paced the ground staring up at the sky.
I was nervous. I was upset. I was alone. Yet I was not alone. The memory of my past and the pain of
my future was with me there,
beside the river. I could not escape my mistakes, my past,
or myself.
Then as the darkest
of night seemed to prevail
against all hope, a bright
little light, a Zohar, began
to shine.
It emanated from
the heavens.
It came from everywhere,
yet it came from nowhere.
The Light
was pure brightness and
its radiance was too glorious
to describe. From the midst of the Light came a figure.
He came out of the
Light, yet He was part of
the Light.
This man was from
the Light and He was the
Light. His face was like the sun shining in full
strength.
His head and hair
were as white as snow-white
wool.
His eyes were like
a fiery flame.
His feet were like
burnished brass.
And His voice, oh
His voice, was like the
sound of many rushing waters.
The brilliance around
Him was like a rainbow in
a cloud on a rainy day.
Upon seeing
Him I feel to my feet as
a dead man. I knew I was finished. The Light placed His right hand upon me
and told me a very simple
word.
“Yaw-ray,” He said.
This phrase struck
chills to my bones, penetrating
my soul and speaking to
my inner self.
“Yaw-ray,” He said. “Fear not,” He said in the sacred tongue.
I will never forget
that simple word.
It was with this
Word that I wrestled all
night long.
For many
years fear had gripped my
life, conquering me. Yet, all of this would soon come to an
end.
Victory was in sight. Fear would no longer hold me prisoner.
Or would it? All of my life fear had controlled me.
It was fear that
led me to deceive.
Because of fear I
left the land and home of
my father.
Fear caused me to
live with my father-in-law
and not stand up to him
when he took advantage of
me.
Fear was the reason
I sent messengers ahead
of our family camp and fear
was the grounds for sending
a huge gift to my brother.
I was so afraid,
yet this man told me to
“Fear not Ya’akov.”
Throughout the night, for many hours I wrestled the words of this
man; I wrestled with the
Word; I wrestled with the
man. Oddly, while struggling I found strength.
The more I fought
the stronger I got.
The longer I was
in the presence of the Shekinah
the more I believed and
trusted the voice of hope.
And so I grabbed
on to this man, clinging
to an everlasting peace
and absence of fear. I had found the solution to my fear and
I was not going to let go.
No, never again would
fear rule my life because
now I held in my hands the
solution to my biggest problem.
At this place, in
this presence, I beheld
His glory and I was surrounded
by a love. It was a perfect love that cast out all
fear.
The man
then said that I must let
go of Him.
I could not stay
in this glorious place forever. I had to move on. But I refused. I would not let go. I would never release him. Then, at that very moment it happened.
All of a sudden I
felt a piercing in my hip
and I heard His voice again.
He asked
me my name and brought to
my mind who I really was. I was Ya’akov. I was a deceiver. I was a man full of fear.
Then the
man of Light did the most
surprising thing. As I stood with a throbbing pain in my
side, this prince of Peace
blessed me.
He spoke a B’racha
over me.
He said,
“From now on you will no
longer be called Ya’akov
but Isra’el. Because you have shown your strength to
both Elohim and man and
you have prevailed.” With those words the throbbing pain in
my hip came to a piercing
climax and my strength was
gone. I was no more. I, Ya’akov, the supplanter, was now Isra’el,
the one who rules and reigns
with El.
I then
begged the man to tell me
his name.
I had to know the
identity of whom it was
that I had wrestled with. But, He would not reveal it. Instead he said asked me why I was asking
about his name when it was
my name that had changed. He told me what was supremely important
was not himself but me and
the change that had taken
place in my life. He said, “You have not ben given a spirit
of fear, but a spirit of
power, love, and self control. You are Isra’el by beloved.”
With those
words, the man, the radiance,
the Light, the Zohar evaporated. The sun began to rise I stood there at
that place a changed man;
a different man.
I named this place
P’ni’el meaning “the face
of Elohim.” You see, it was here at this place that
I came face to face with
Elohim yet my existence
was spared. Here at P’ni’el I saw the Almighty and
I saw myself for who I really
was and I was changed, I
was refreshed. I was born again.
I limped
away from that encounter
knowing that whatever my
future would hold I simply
would not fear.
Yahweh is my Light
and my Salvation, my Yahshua,
whom shall I fear? I would later approach Esav in a most
humble manner.
Esav’s desire to
kill me had subsided, his
anger had minimized, and
his longing for reunion
was apparent.
Would you believe
that as I approached him,
my twin ran and embraced
me! This was too good to be true. The fear and dread of yesterday were now
replaced with love and joy.
I was no longer Ya’acov.
I was Isra’el.
Please
think about these events.
Surely if Yahweh
El Shaddai can remove my
fear and change my name
and character to Isra’el
then He can do the same
for you.
Until
we meet again may Shalom
be yours,
Isra’el
ben Yitz’chak
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